Down (Candlelight remix) - Jay Sean
Dear Lord,
help me start fresh for this year. Help me grow closer towards you and build upon a relationship with you...
I think I just found my purpose here on life. It's not for my own self pleasures, but for you. I will not lean on just my own understanding, but yours. Because I do know you'll direct me in the right path. You also gave me a precious gift, a child to take care of here on earth and do my best to follow in your footsteps.
Monday, January 25
Friday, October 23
j.HOLIDAY :)
Hey you all :)
wow, i haven't blogged in awhile! But yeah, guess what? I'm finally in Queensland! Ahahaha about time huh :) I've been talking about this for some time already
Wednesday, July 8
B1, B2 & B3 :)
Listening to : Michael jackson - Man in the mirror
I haven't blogged in ages! I've been mad sick with the a flu virus, headache, heart and lung ache, sleep deprive aah everything!
Well besides the sickness and stress, I'm feeling pretty good :) On Saturday I went to Jen's boyfriends birthday party at their house in Doonside. I hesitated to go in because I knew 'he'd' be there so I stayed in the car for abit, and later on I decided to come in. Rarararara, i'll just get straight to the point...Jen gave us two a lecture and we ended up sorting things out and I told him how i felt with me doing everything on my own, and how he's lucky that i'm not putting child support against him rara. Anyways :) we ended up staying there overnight and having our little kisses and cuddles :D:D:D:D AAAAAAAAH, FULL MADE ME :) !!!!
And we didn't sleep until 8:30am the NEXT day! It was us two, jen and arvi, miko, deezy, seane, jason, jimbo and bj in the room and we were peaking our asses off -.- But mine and Jb's peak faded away, and we were just talking under the blanket about EVERYTHING and how this turned out to be so random of us getting back together. Then later on, all of us took photos and started dnming about life and how things have changed in just ONE year from the last time i used to hang out with them. Anyways, we fell asleep and acoupla hours later i think around 4pm we all fully woke up? Ahahaha i know -.- Awww, but it was just soo good to be with him again <3 I swear, i didn't want that night to end! It was soooo good, reminiscing about the old times, and acoupla days later we were talking about it on the phone....how this time it felt so much different? like, everytime we kissed.. It felt so real.. and I knew we both meant it, this wasn't like a random hookup and cause we were peaking, we both felt that intimacy we didn't feel when we were going out. Iduno, it's so hard to explain...all i know is that our love for eachother was always there :) We were just both scared to show it. And we'd have a moment after kissing, we'd just stare in eachothers eyes for AGES.....and i smiled, full telling him "All i see is you, everytime i look at Peighton" and he hugged me...saying he can't wait to see and hold her and that he'll try to be the best dad for her :) haha and everyone was asking about "our wedding" lol :) Well yeah, around 6ish we watched sex drive and afterwards went home cause my mum was going psycho, that i left Peighton for one night....yeah i did feel really bad :( i wanted her to actually come! But, lol it was a party >< so yeah..well atleast me and Jb sorted everything out so he's actually going to be there for her and finally meet her soon :) yey, can't wait!
I'm so tired, anyways i'm off! I'll blog soon again.
I love my baby1 (Jb) and baby3 (pei) :D
One big happy family :):):):)
I haven't blogged in ages! I've been mad sick with the a flu virus, headache, heart and lung ache, sleep deprive aah everything!
Well besides the sickness and stress, I'm feeling pretty good :) On Saturday I went to Jen's boyfriends birthday party at their house in Doonside. I hesitated to go in because I knew 'he'd' be there so I stayed in the car for abit, and later on I decided to come in. Rarararara, i'll just get straight to the point...Jen gave us two a lecture and we ended up sorting things out and I told him how i felt with me doing everything on my own, and how he's lucky that i'm not putting child support against him rara. Anyways :) we ended up staying there overnight and having our little kisses and cuddles :D:D:D:D AAAAAAAAH, FULL MADE ME :) !!!!
And we didn't sleep until 8:30am the NEXT day! It was us two, jen and arvi, miko, deezy, seane, jason, jimbo and bj in the room and we were peaking our asses off -.- But mine and Jb's peak faded away, and we were just talking under the blanket about EVERYTHING and how this turned out to be so random of us getting back together. Then later on, all of us took photos and started dnming about life and how things have changed in just ONE year from the last time i used to hang out with them. Anyways, we fell asleep and acoupla hours later i think around 4pm we all fully woke up? Ahahaha i know -.- Awww, but it was just soo good to be with him again <3 I swear, i didn't want that night to end! It was soooo good, reminiscing about the old times, and acoupla days later we were talking about it on the phone....how this time it felt so much different? like, everytime we kissed.. It felt so real.. and I knew we both meant it, this wasn't like a random hookup and cause we were peaking, we both felt that intimacy we didn't feel when we were going out. Iduno, it's so hard to explain...all i know is that our love for eachother was always there :) We were just both scared to show it. And we'd have a moment after kissing, we'd just stare in eachothers eyes for AGES.....and i smiled, full telling him "All i see is you, everytime i look at Peighton" and he hugged me...saying he can't wait to see and hold her and that he'll try to be the best dad for her :) haha and everyone was asking about "our wedding" lol :) Well yeah, around 6ish we watched sex drive and afterwards went home cause my mum was going psycho, that i left Peighton for one night....yeah i did feel really bad :( i wanted her to actually come! But, lol it was a party >< so yeah..well atleast me and Jb sorted everything out so he's actually going to be there for her and finally meet her soon :) yey, can't wait!
I'm so tired, anyways i'm off! I'll blog soon again.
I love my baby1 (Jb) and baby3 (pei) :D
One big happy family :):):):)
Friday, June 26
Keep me partyin' till the A.M
Listening to : Krazy - Pitbull feat. Lil Jon
It's 6:16AM and i just got home acoupla minutes ago from Havana. Wow, pretty good night out with the girls, but i have to admit...i am starting to get sick of the whole clubbing scene. I wasn't really that pumped either to go?! But yeah wanted to do something since i finished my tafe course :) what an accomplishment besides the drama between restarting the computer and my assignments that i couldn't find! Grrr, anyways who cares, I finished and thats all that matters :)
Felt abit err today when i went out with Maria and Janelle to Blacktown to eat noodle extra. Saw baby daddy and we left on bad terms so that pretty much sums up why i wasn't really excited to go out for the night. Grrr, can't wait till i move to Queensland! Everytime i see him, he just kills my day deadset.
Anyways, clubbing wasn't all that bad i'm just getting so tired of it and i end up going all emo afterwards, like on the way home (felt like we were in the car for 10 hours! lol) stupid drama shit ALWAYS happens everytime we go clubbing:
1) I didn't end up 'working' guhhreat laters to extra $$$
2) Some sleezedick that tried to take advantage of me..not going into details cause grr i was so angry and upset
3) Crossing the enemy line. Hmm
4) I was dancing RIGHT next to um, baby daddy's brother? Didn't realize until he turned around and that just killed my night cause HE was in my head non stop.
5) Dramas with people driving back home, uh like if your gonna drink and/or do stupid shit and offer to drive back home atleast freaking limit yourself on the alcohol and what not! Ah, missions missions.
I so cbf to go out now, and the whole night i was thinking about Peighton <3 I seriously could NOT stop thinking about her, and hopeing shes okay at my brothers house. I've never been so worried i guess thats just a mother intuition. I miss her so much, all i want is for her to be by my side. I might've been a tad paranoid about leaving her. Maybe cause my love for her is more than words can ever describe.
ALRIGHT EMO! hahaha. anyways i'm off to bed hate thinkin about all this crap.
It's 6:16AM and i just got home acoupla minutes ago from Havana. Wow, pretty good night out with the girls, but i have to admit...i am starting to get sick of the whole clubbing scene. I wasn't really that pumped either to go?! But yeah wanted to do something since i finished my tafe course :) what an accomplishment besides the drama between restarting the computer and my assignments that i couldn't find! Grrr, anyways who cares, I finished and thats all that matters :)
Felt abit err today when i went out with Maria and Janelle to Blacktown to eat noodle extra. Saw baby daddy and we left on bad terms so that pretty much sums up why i wasn't really excited to go out for the night. Grrr, can't wait till i move to Queensland! Everytime i see him, he just kills my day deadset.
Anyways, clubbing wasn't all that bad i'm just getting so tired of it and i end up going all emo afterwards, like on the way home (felt like we were in the car for 10 hours! lol) stupid drama shit ALWAYS happens everytime we go clubbing:
1) I didn't end up 'working' guhhreat laters to extra $$$
2) Some sleezedick that tried to take advantage of me..not going into details cause grr i was so angry and upset
3) Crossing the enemy line. Hmm
4) I was dancing RIGHT next to um, baby daddy's brother? Didn't realize until he turned around and that just killed my night cause HE was in my head non stop.
5) Dramas with people driving back home, uh like if your gonna drink and/or do stupid shit and offer to drive back home atleast freaking limit yourself on the alcohol and what not! Ah, missions missions.
I so cbf to go out now, and the whole night i was thinking about Peighton <3 I seriously could NOT stop thinking about her, and hopeing shes okay at my brothers house. I've never been so worried i guess thats just a mother intuition. I miss her so much, all i want is for her to be by my side. I might've been a tad paranoid about leaving her. Maybe cause my love for her is more than words can ever describe.
ALRIGHT EMO! hahaha. anyways i'm off to bed hate thinkin about all this crap.
Wednesday, June 24
Getaway
Listening to : Take It Slow - Ying Yang Twins
So, tonight is another night of me staying up due to my assignments. I've got so much work to do but i guess it'll pay off in the end PLUS i finish my Design course this Friday :)
I've decided to stop this semester and continue later on next year because i just can't stand the work overload and coming home dead tired and leave Peighton with my mum, it makes me feel like a bad parent! so i'd rather take the 6 month break to spend some quality time with my daughter :) yayayayay! Pfffft, only if HE would step up and be a father i wouldn't be stressing over finding my way through education and a good job to support Pei! Grrr, i'm so thankful to get government money (i haven't used a single cent from the baby bonus(:) that money is actually with my mum so that it can be saved for Peighton when she abit older! So, during the 6 month break around September i'll be looking for a good part time/casual job just to earn extra cash. I've got alot of plans for the remaining 6 months of 2009! Plan A was actually moving to Queensland next month, but it all changed after that boy effed it all up! -.-
So heres Part B:
- Move out by end of June and rent out a place for 6 month lease with Maria and baby Noah.
- Find a job and save up to move to Queensland by the end of this year! :)
Yeah, pretty hectik ey. I just needa get away from Sydney it's giving me the shits right now! I know running from your problems won't help but i guess moving away from distractions and temptations is most probably the best option for me. I'm too caught up with all the wrong stuff and clubbing/raving etc. I really really really need to settle down. Geez, and you know what else i need? SOME SLEEP! fuck it's 5:26am -.-
Good morning!
So, tonight is another night of me staying up due to my assignments. I've got so much work to do but i guess it'll pay off in the end PLUS i finish my Design course this Friday :)
I've decided to stop this semester and continue later on next year because i just can't stand the work overload and coming home dead tired and leave Peighton with my mum, it makes me feel like a bad parent! so i'd rather take the 6 month break to spend some quality time with my daughter :) yayayayay! Pfffft, only if HE would step up and be a father i wouldn't be stressing over finding my way through education and a good job to support Pei! Grrr, i'm so thankful to get government money (i haven't used a single cent from the baby bonus(:) that money is actually with my mum so that it can be saved for Peighton when she abit older! So, during the 6 month break around September i'll be looking for a good part time/casual job just to earn extra cash. I've got alot of plans for the remaining 6 months of 2009! Plan A was actually moving to Queensland next month, but it all changed after that boy effed it all up! -.-
So heres Part B:
- Move out by end of June and rent out a place for 6 month lease with Maria and baby Noah.
- Find a job and save up to move to Queensland by the end of this year! :)
Yeah, pretty hectik ey. I just needa get away from Sydney it's giving me the shits right now! I know running from your problems won't help but i guess moving away from distractions and temptations is most probably the best option for me. I'm too caught up with all the wrong stuff and clubbing/raving etc. I really really really need to settle down. Geez, and you know what else i need? SOME SLEEP! fuck it's 5:26am -.-
Good morning!
Wednesday, June 17
What it do
Listening to : All For You - Deepside
I didn't get to dye my hair lastnight, so i'm in the process of it now.
Had a huge talk with my mum because i was really, really eh depressed.
Sorted everything out now and i'm pretty pleased with what we decided to do.
I'm excited actually, can't wait till July! I can finally start fresh with Peighton.
I didn't get to dye my hair lastnight, so i'm in the process of it now.
Had a huge talk with my mum because i was really, really eh depressed.
Sorted everything out now and i'm pretty pleased with what we decided to do.
I'm excited actually, can't wait till July! I can finally start fresh with Peighton.
Tuesday, June 16
Blame it on the hearts
Listening to : August - I wish
I haven't blogged in awhile, thats because i've been stressed out with Tafe assignments, relationship issues, money problems and other shit that i don't want to mention to save the embaressment.
I've noticed everyones blogs are about fashion and mines just emo, lol.
Well anyways, i've decided to change my look. Screw this whole blonde bullshit birds nest of mine, i'm going back to brunette... later on i might cut it to a bob, not so sure about that yet still deciding. I'm so bored and i just feel really down. I've never cried this much over a stupid guy, i told you i'm vulnerable when it comes to crap like this. I think i my expectations of him are way too high...and i'm going to do my best to get over him. I deleted his number but then again i can remember it from the top of my head so like, that was pointless! LOL.
I'm gunna wrap this up, with a little shoutout to Maria and her newborn son, Noah who was born on June 16th, 2009 at 1.42am weighing in at 8.1 pounds and 56 cm :) He IS the most goregous baby ever!
Anyways, i'll post up photos of my new hair..gunna dye it now.
I haven't blogged in awhile, thats because i've been stressed out with Tafe assignments, relationship issues, money problems and other shit that i don't want to mention to save the embaressment.
I've noticed everyones blogs are about fashion and mines just emo, lol.
Well anyways, i've decided to change my look. Screw this whole blonde bullshit birds nest of mine, i'm going back to brunette... later on i might cut it to a bob, not so sure about that yet still deciding. I'm so bored and i just feel really down. I've never cried this much over a stupid guy, i told you i'm vulnerable when it comes to crap like this. I think i my expectations of him are way too high...and i'm going to do my best to get over him. I deleted his number but then again i can remember it from the top of my head so like, that was pointless! LOL.
I'm gunna wrap this up, with a little shoutout to Maria and her newborn son, Noah who was born on June 16th, 2009 at 1.42am weighing in at 8.1 pounds and 56 cm :) He IS the most goregous baby ever!
Anyways, i'll post up photos of my new hair..gunna dye it now.
